Getting better....

I just got the word that Grandma is doing better.  She did have a minor stroke but is now back to being awake and alert, so thank you Lord for that.  My dad said that she should be released in a couple of days so she can get back to home to her babies (the kitty cats).  Whew! 

I have some other stuff to tell you guys, like how I accidentally ate a bad potato (what is UP with potatoes these days, man?) and something else that I can't exactly remember at the time being but will inevitably pop back into my head while I'm driving and nowhere near a computer (it totally happens to you too right?).  But it'll have to wait a bit, because I can't talk right now because I have to finish packing up this destruction of a room I'm in.  Why am I packing?  Because I'm moving tomorrow.  Did I not tell you that?  Wow, okay yeah, we definitely have some stuff to talk about.  For now, I'm going to go down a handful of ibuprofen (cuz this headache is RAGING yo) and then it's pack city.  But we'll talk later.  Promise.

Jenny out.

***OH WAIT!!!! I remember what the other thing was!  But I'm not telling you now because I am all about anticipation and suspense and DRAMA!  Do you want a hint though?  I'll give you a hint.  It's about a movie star.  And that I saw him.  Up close and personal.  From about 15 feet away.  Chew on THAT for a bit why don't ya?  (Also, it wasn't Brad Pitt so you can calm down. Nor was it Clooney so we can just ahead and make our peace with that disappointment now.)  Ugh, ok, my head is pissed.  Gotta got get that ibuprofen now.  Later.***

EDIT: I am fully aware that Brad Pitt is looking especially goat-like these days, and honestly he's never really rocked my world anyway, even in the Thelma & Louise days, but it was the first name that popped in my head.  I just though we should clear that up.  Thank you for your time.

Not good....

My grandma on my dad's side has been in and out of the hospital lately, most recently from a rough bout of pneumonia I believe.  I'm not sure all of the details, but she was released on Monday.  Apparently, she was staying at a friend's house for whatever reason, and as of this evening, she was rushed back to the hospital because she became unresponsive.  She was getting a brain scan tonight I think so as of now it's just a waiting game to hear what's going on.

She lives in Ohio while I grew up in the South.  And although we don't see each other often, we are extremely close.  I know she's been sick, but to hear it be this serious pretty much freaks me out.  If you don't mind, would you say some prayers for my Grandma tonight?  I'm not ready to bear with the thought that she might not be with us much longer, so I'm praying hard for her to come out of this one ok.

Soooo.  Guess what I got to do yesterday?

Want a hint?

And that, my friends, would be SNOW!!!  Holla!

As of Monday night, the local weather guys were preaching snow for Tuesday, while all the non-weather guy people, who are familiar with their track record, were all "mmm hmm, sure dude, whatever you say."  And don't you know my sweet mom came in to wake me up at 8 am to tell me to go look out the window. 

Whaaaat?!  Y'all, this is central Texas I'm talking about here.  This?  Does not happen.  Or at least I've never seen it.  I grew up in southeast Louisiana where any "snow" that happened to fall usually melted before it hit the ground.  Since I've been in Texas, I've seen nothing but a couple of major ice storms, but none of this real snow.  This stuff was sticking yo.

Apparently, at the sight of snow, I immediately turn into a 5 year old.  This is fact.  Although I am at least a very mature 5 year old who knows the importance of dressing sensibly before running out in the backyard yelling SNOW! SNOW! SNOW!  I just thought that would be worth mentioning.  You guys, the flakes that were coming down were enormous!  I had no idea snowflakes honestly got that big.  It was like little snow hamsters falling out of the sky or something.  I'll let that visual sink in for a minute.

Related:  So it has pretty much always (for like a year) been my dream to get a white puffer jacket with a (faux) fur lined hood so I could pretend I was a snow princess while feeding an apple to a deer in the snowy mountains. Well, guess what I found at Ross for like $20?  Oh yes I did.  So of course, it was a snow princess day, although technically, I was supposed to have long hair , but I figured since I didn't have the deer, apple, or mountains, I could let the hair thing go. (Unrelated:  Also, I forgot to tell you last week, that I just cut all my hair off.  Seriously, like 6 inches or something.  It's madness down here I tell you!) Anyway, moving on...

This was the first time Gracie girl has seen real snow too.  Her first impression?:

She's a lady.  And was completely freaked out by all the cold stuff landing on her head.  Though with all that fur, I don't really think she knew it was cold.  All she knew was it was on here and please to make it stop.  Once she realized that whatever this stuff was got us all out in the yard (PLAY!), then she was just fine.  Oh man, and once the ball came outside too...forget it.  She was golden.

None of this winter wonderland business lasted of course.  It was back up to the upper 40's toady, so driving through the neighborhood today was like witnessing the March of the Dying Snowmen.  Seemed every yard had a melty, uneven, sad little man fading back into the mildness of a southern winter.  Hey, it happens.

So until the next snow day that I get to witness, enjoy some pics....

Whoa....

You guys.  I'm telling you this much:  You know how to make a girl's day.

I would like to offer a heartfelt welcome and thank you to all the new friends who have made their way over here in the past few days!  Mucho thanks to Kathryn over at From the Inside...Out and JD over at I Do Things So You Don't Have To for working some major P.R. for this little blog.  And secret P.R. at that.  You ladies are like blogging ninjas.  You could probably kill me with one keystroke with both hands tied behind your back right?

Man, this is exciting!  I feel so validated.  I mean, I'm not the only one who hates Coldplay?!  Who knew?!  It makes me happy to know that I've made you smile, so I hope you'll stick around for a bit.  I'll do my best to keep you entertained.

Here.  Have a cupcake as my thank you!

Annoyance #2398

Can someone PLEASE tell me why the cable channels think it's a good idea to play the same movie back to back, especially when said movie is not something awesome like Bring It On?  I really need to know.

Thanks.

Big Pimpin'....

Attention Internet!  Your vote is needed! 

Yes, I'm totally pimping my dog child out. :) Gracie's up for cutest pet ever in the whole world. It would mean alot to her if you'd vote for her. I think it'll be really good for her self-esteem if she wins, since she's really self-conscious abou the extra 30 lbs of fur she's put on since she's been groomed last. She's really starting to resemble a swiffer duster. But don't tell her I said that. :)


Feel free to send it out to everybody you know who will agree that she is a TEN! I guess that would be a 70 in dog years right?

To vote, click here.  No email address or registration or anything is needed.  Just a vote. :)
Thanks mucho!

"You're talking about my furnkles aren't you? It is not my fault my legs have disappeared entirely into the fur.  Hmph."

Klassy with a capital K....

I love music. LOVE it. LUV it. LUB it. LURVE it.  However, you want to LOLspeak, bottom line: Me + Music = Everlasting Happiness, forever and ever, till death do us part, amen.  Though I will pretty much listen to whatever music you put on (except Coldplay!  I hate Coldplay! Turn it off!), if I'm picking the tunes, I rarely listen to what I guess would be considered "grown up" music.  You know, stuff like the "classics," such as...well....um....okay honestly I can't even think of who I'm talking about, because that's just not usually the preset that I stop on while I'm scanning in the car.

No, I prefer the really deep profound stuff that makes you think.  The lyrics that really touch that part of your soul that felt all alone and now somehow comes to life with the realization that someone, somewhere, undertsands or something. Stuff like Miley Cyrus: "Cause all I see are stilettos, I guess I didn't get the memo."  Wow right?  Because I did not get the memo either and, it is, in fact, a party in the USA.

But I'm not here to talk about Miley.  I want to talk about new girl on the scene who is tearing it up or breaking it down or moving to the left, to the left, or whatever.  You know I'm talking about Kesha Ke$ha.  I have questions regarding Ke$ha and her songwriting team.  Let's discuss shall we?

Disclaimer:  I do not expect you to watch this video in its entirety.  In fact, I suggest you don't.  Because it is 3 minutes seconds of your life that you will never get back and honestly, I just don't think I can carry that on my conscience.  I can summarize it really quick for you:  She wakes up in a bathtub with one shoe on and then parties alot and then falls asleep in another tub with a different shoe on.  Klassy. The End. I only include the video in case you weren't entirely sure what song I was talking about and needed a listen.  And then you would be like OMG I LOVE THIS SONG and then we'd become BFF immediately because I KNOW RIGHT?!

Observe:



So what I want to know first is was there some sort of artistic statement being made about the bathtubs?  Such that she spends an awful lot of time in the bathtub, yet it is never for the tub's intended purpose?  Because clearly girlfriend is no stranger to odor.  It appears that she is, however, a stranger to soap.  Irony perhaps?  See how Ke$ha has us thinking?

And what about the whole typefont rebellion?  Using a $ instead of an S in her name!  Have you ever heard such madness?! No one can conform you to society, Ke$ha!  You will NOT be boxed in!  Also, please note that going forward, I will be known as Jenn!fer, as I, too, am a rebel.

Like her predecessor, Miley, Ke$ha is a lyrical trailblazer.  They are so advanced and beyond the scope of my limited reasonings, that I don't even know what the heck the girl is talking about.  For example:  "The dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger, but we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger."

Mick Jagger?  Really?

So what you're saying to me is that when this dude rolls up:

And is all "'Sup boo?"  You're going to be like "Kick him to the curb!"  Whereas, I'm all "Call me!"

Let me make sure I'm understanding this correctly:

         Yes.                                                                              No.

See how she boggles the mind?

Back up off...

Okay, I am a total chick.  Which means, of course, that I don't do bugs.  At all.  Unless it's of the lady or roly poly variety.  Or a butterfly, but I mean duh, did I really need to say that?  But other than that, no, get them away from me and away from you and away from anywhere that I'm going to be ever in my life ever please and thank you.

Just because I don't like them, doesn't entirely mean I'm scared of ALL of them.  I'm scared of ALOT of them, but not ALL.  Like spiders for example.  (Look, I'm sorry.  I know half of you just started squealing and covering your ears and maybe even dry heaving.  But it is important that we talk about it right now ok?  I will pay for your therapy.  You're fine.)  Spiders don't usually bug me (ha! pun!) too much.  As long as it can respect my personal bubble and it isn't over what normal standard spider size should be (1 mm), then we'll be alright.

Point:  There has been a spider on my ceiling for the past several days.  I don't even know how long it has been honestly because he has just been that nice of a roomguest.  He has been waaaay over there along the edge on the ceiling and that's where he stays.  He wanders of to this other corner that is a bit closer to me, but I forgive him because he's proven himself to be trustworthy.

Important sidenote:  I know you're probably wondering why I'm just letting this spider roam around freely and all. I understand your point of view.  But the thing is?  He's on the ceiling.  And I'm not ceiling height, which means I can't reach him.  And I can't tell by looking at the little sucker that he's a jumper.  He just is.  I have a spidey sense (PUN!) about things like this.  If I mess with him, the odds of him ending up ON ME are greatly increased, and well, that's just not something I'm willing to live with.  So he's been here on probation.

Until right now, this very minute, real time, as it's happening, live.

He's almost directly over my bed.  And people, please hear me when I say, NO!  Not ok! Personal space VIOLATED!!!  I mean check out how rude this guy is:

What. Do. I. Do?!?!  I'm convinced he's moving closer to me.  Like I haven't seen him move or anything, but I'm pretty sure he's crittering closer to me when I look away.  Oh gag y'all.  We were doing just fine when he was way over there on the wall where I never go (His name is Hank btw).  Oooooooh, he moved.  Okay.  Oh man, and he's smart too!  He's just enough behind the fan blades that I can't throw anything.  Oh oh oh!  I have one of those computer air duster thingys.  I could shoot that air at him and maybe he'll fall (or jump! BARF!)

Okay, I gotta do something here.  I will not sleep knowing he is over my bed watching me with all those eyes.  EWWWW GAG OMG WHY DID I EVEN SAY THAT?!  *HEAVE*  I'm doing this.  Hang tight...please don't go anywhere. I need you. 

Hold please.....

Um.

You guys?

I hit him with the broom as a last resort.  And, uh, well, now I don't know where he is.  Remember that I told you he was awfully close to the bed?  You don't think he's on my bed right?  I mean, I shook out the sheets and pillows a bit and brushed my hair and changed my shirt.  So surely he's not in my bed/hair right?  Right.  Wait, I'm right, right?  You know, now that I think about it, the couch in the living room all the way at the other end of the house is pretty comfortable.  Plus spiders are allergic to couches right?  Yeah I'm pretty sure I read that in my imagination that one time.  So I'm good.

Addendum:

I have good news and bad news.

The good news:  I found it, him, Hank, whatever.

The bad news:

Yes, that is my cup of water.

Let's never speak of this again.

Dude, I don't even know...

Thank you Google images for providing the visual aid for this presentation.

Y'all.  Can we please talk about this?  Have you seen it yet? No, you haven't?  Well, let me just say RUN! Run as far from this movie as you can.  Do not look back, even when you remember Topher Grace is in it and ohmygosh, don't you just love Topher Grace?  I need you to trust me here.  And more importantly YOU need you to trust me here.

I saw it tonight, and...just...wow.  I have sooo many questions.  First of all, what the? And also huh?  And maybe some are you kidding me with this?  But most of all, I need to know WHY?  Can someone please enlighten me here?  I just need to know.  Was it just an idea thrown together over a night of one too many cocktails?  Like "Oh hey, how many Big Name Actors do you think we can get into one movie?"  I just cannot understand how so many actors who have done some pretty nice work previously, seem to have lost all ability to act like a character.  It was painful.  And loooong. Like over two hours long. (!!!)  And the chemistry?  What chemistry?  Have these people even met each other ever before filming this scene?  I just do not understand.

Now don't get me wrong. I can't discount the entire thing.  Ashton Kutcher is in it, after all.  And say what you want about him but you cannot deny the fact that he is one good looking dude.    I could watch the guy eat cereal for two hours and be just fine.  Also, Jennifer Garner. Adorable. But that's an awful lot of weight for those two pretty faces to carry around.  I can't help but feel so sorry for all the boyfriends/husbands/men in the life of the girls who you KNOW were all SQUEE! It's Valentine's Day!  Oooh honeykins, let's go see the movie! That's just straight up cold of those producers/directors/writers/whoevers to do that to these guys.

So. My recommendation to you is this.  Avoid it at the theater  Just save your $100 for the movie ticket, and wait for it on DVD.  Or even better, wait until it shows up on TBS on some random Saturday afternoon when you had no intention of getting out of your stretchy pants anyway.  That's the way to roll with movies like this.

Of course, you know I'll probably end up buying it when it hits the Wal-Mart $5 bin. 

What? 

I told you Ashton Kutcher was in it. 

Shout out to Bing on this one for representin'

Quote...

“That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time.”
--Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed

I Know Who Killed Me....

It was a potato.  A mean, angry, merciless red spud that did me in.  I will warn you that this particular story might be a little on the EWWW side, and I am sorry to share such horrible things with you, but I can't get through this alone.

Let me just say up front, to eliminate any confusion later, I love potatoes. L-O-V-E them.  Thanks to their consistent yumminess, mixed with their cheapness and ability to keep me full, they are a staple in my (often daily) diet.

So.  Last night, I wanted to make some cheese potatoes. (Boil some red potatoes, drain, butter, melt cheese slices on top, yum, trust.)  While choosing my potatoes from the Potato Bowl, I noticed one of them had this (GROSS ALERT!) black, clustery gross thing happening on it.

Me:  EWWWWW!  I think this one has eggs on it!  Or is it just foaming?

Mom:  I think it's foam.

Me:  Touch it.

She totally touched it!  Blech!  And lucky for her, it was foam, because y'all, what if it had been foamy EGGS?!  GAG!

Mom:  It's fine.  Just rinse it off.

(Ok, keep in mind that my senses were all hypersensitive from being all grossed out from the foam and all, plus mom was still in egg mode.)  I rinsed the potato and grabbed a towel to make sure the foam was all gone.  As soon as I put even the slightest pressure on that spot on the potato to dry it, my finger breaks right through the potato into it's mushy rotten spot and white, starchy potato guts came shooting out at me.  My response? Scream like a little girl, throw that potato, and RUN!  My mom's response?  Scream like a grown up and RUN!  She took off down the hall, and after I recovered from my near fatal laughing hysteria, I found her hiding in my bedroom afflicted with the very same hysteria. 

Apparently she thought a critter of some kind jumped out at me in defense of the hypothetical eggs, while I just heard that awful popping noise of the exploding potato.  Oh my gosh, it was just gross, although it's good to know where our Fight or Flight response stands.  Flight all the way.

Stop Looking at Me Swan...

I had to go downtown to run a few errands today.  Because the weather decided to be especially beautiful today, I took Gracie girl with me so we could walk around the lake while we were out.  She's a bundle of energy, but she's gotten really out of shape since her recent surgery lockdown.  So Fatty Fat Fat and I set out on the 4 mile trek, and let me tell you this:  COLD. C-O-L-D.  What the freezing is this all about?  I knew it was cool, and I came prepared with a hoodie and scarf, but dang!  Not even 20 paces and my ears were frozen.  Meanwhile, Fur Coat is trotting along beside me just happy as she can be sniffing the air like it's the first time she's ever smelled it.

I had my camera with me today with the intention of taking pics of this beautiful pair of swans that lives on the lake.  I sat on the first rocky area we came to which led down into the water.  Gracie hopped around on a few of them, then decided rocks were the scariest thing she'd ever come across and tried to go the other direction.  Uh, no go kiddo, we're sitting here and you will like it.  We did sit there.  She did not like it.  I guess this was a known feeding spot because those two swans spotted us from waaaay over there and glided right up like they had been waiting all day (I forgot to bring the bread, darnit!)  Turns out swans are a bigger threat than rocks so Gracie stepped up to protect the rocks she was afraid of.  My little warrior. 

They gracefully swam away in terror.  Or indifference.  Whatever.

Once we got around to the other side of the lake, we met up with our fancy friends again, along with a huge flock of ducks.  I sat on one of the big rocks and lifted Gracie down to the lower rocks for her to investigate.  As I'm putting her down, I hear "Hhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."  (That's a hissing noise by the way.)  I turn around to see Mrs. Swan with her gaze locked on Gracie and her mouth all wide open HISSING!  Okay, on one hand it was completely funny because omg, a hissing swan.  But on the other hand, OMG A HISSING SWAN!  (When I was 6, I tried to feed an animal cracker to a swan just by holding it in my fingers, but instead the swan totally tried to eat ME instead and bit me.  It hurt!) 

This man jogs by with his lab and says "Hey, those swans will attack your dog.  Mine's 10 times the size of yours, and they knocked her right out of the water."  Whoa. UFC swans.  Who would have guessed?

Of course Gracie was completely oblivious to the fact that I was back fighting off ninja swans to keep them from eating her.  She has busy trying to sniff pigeons and couldn't be bothered with all that swan drama. I mean, really. Pssshhh.

Aside from battling frostbite and scorned lady swans, we had a really nice walk, and I know it was healthy for both of us to get out and about.  A 4 mile walk and a few sprints up some hills, and both of us got a really good  workout.  Mark this one down as a great day. :)

Help me internet....

I recently bought a new bag-o-socks from Wal-Mart. Six pair for $5. Score! 

Here's where I'm stuck.  They were in a resealable bag.  Wha?  Can anyone think of any reason that a person would need their SOCKS in a bag that reseals?  Because I got nothing. 

I can think of reasons why a person may want to keep them in this bag, but no reason why resealability would be necessary. 

Thoughts?

A quote...

“The only reason I don’t let you go is because you said you would always be there.
No matter how many days pass, I wait for you to come right back through that door.

If you never meant it, you shouldn’t have said it.
You may no longer always be here but your words will never leave me.”

via Boy Meets Love

Rock it out...

March 2009

So I've been in Louisiana the past few days.  Long story that I'll tell you another time, but the main idea is I'm staying with my BFF, Shara, and her hubs, George, back in LA where I grew up.  Some mutual friends (Amanda and TJ) of all of ours live just down the street or around the corner or something, so tonight they came over for dinner to visit before I head back to the TX. George made some rocking cheeseburgers, and Shara made yummy brownies for dessert. (win-win!) 

After a dinner of magic cheeseburgers, we decided to play some Guitar Hero.  Well, I use "we" as a very loose term.  Technically, Shara decided we should play Guitar Hero, because Amanda and I chose to make Shara choose the game.  I've only played Guitar Hero (actually, it was Rock Band) once before in my life, and truly? It changed me.  Forever.  (Please see pic above.)  I was visiting friends in Virginia Beach and Kris (left) had just gotten it for her birthday.  Needless to say, we represented.  No one has every committed themselves to Rock Band the way we did that weekend.  We were golden.

 

This is exactly why this girl is my friend for life. 

So tonight when Shara mentioned Guitar Hero, I was in.  Sure, I've played this before.  It's just like Rock Band, and I think we can all agree that I was created to play Rock Band.  Bring. It On.

First up was The Joke by The Steve Miller Band, and surprisingly, these lovely group of people suggested I sing. Me. Sing.  This is amazing for 3 reasons: (1) I am not good. At all. (2) Shara regularly tells me to not sing, which I regularly IGNORE, and (3) I was not allowed to sing during above mentioned Rock Band party (see reason #1). So getting the mic this go around was the highlight of my life.  And let me just tell you...I. Nailed. It.  96% my friends! 96!!!  I mean, who even does that?  That means I hit 96% of the notes. What that means exactly, I have no idea, but I know it's good even if my voice isn't!  To all the haters, I have one thing to say:  Boo. Yah.

Since there were 5 of us and only 3 instruments, after each song, we rotated right.  Next up for this rock star? The drums.  You guys?  I LOOOOVE the drums.  Love them with my whole heart and soul.  It has been a lifelong dream to play.  So Bon Jovi kicks on and the band plays and I kid you not, within like 4 lines of the song, the band "loses" thanks to who? The drummer.  Which is me. Gah.  Okay, let's try one more time.  Here comes Bon Jovi.  Shara is rocking the guitar. Amanda is singing her heart out.  Drums kick in.  Fail.  TWICE!  The game gave up on me (Hi Kathryn!). I slowly slid that drum set right back over to TJ who was owning it before I got my hands on it.  They finished it in style.

On the Road Again by Willie Nelson.  Instruments move to the right so I'm on guitar.  I got this.  I can do guitar.  Observe:

Music kicks in. Drummer is drumming.  I start what I believe is about to be one amazing performance.  I'm pushing red, green, red, green, yellow...and nothing is happening.  Silence from the guitar.  George says "You gotta strum Jenny!"  Oh right.  This little bar thing over here.  So I have to do one thing with my left hand, and something else entirely with my right?  Not my strongest quality.  So I'm strumming and hitting buttons and things are just going downhill fast, when all of a sudden - FAIL.  Geez Guitar Hero, is there no learning curve here or what?  When the whole game gives up because of your lacking button pushing strumming skills, it's just not good.

Dude, whatever.  Where are those dessert brownies?  The brownies never give up on you.  And you know what?  I will never give up on the brownies.