Wednesday, April 28, 2010
So here it is. The reason behind the cryptic message requesting your awesome. I needed this dress. On the cheap, no less. And don't you know it only took me two Goodwills to find it. And it was only $5! Holler!
So to ease your troubled minds, here is The REST of the STORY: (you said that all Paul Harvey-like right? Good.)
(*Plus 10 cool points for those of you who made my day and tried to guess the answers. I heart you.)
Alright, so I'm looking for a dress that is required for a 50's party that is coming up in the next couple of weeks. As long as it fits the theme and doesn't have a poodle on it (because I HATE POODLES! DISLIKE!), then it'll work. Oh, and it can't cost more than $20. Follow?
My BFF's parents' 30th wedding anniversary was this month, so their wonderful children threw them a fantastic surprise 50's themed sock hop. And because my BFF is a bit theme party obsessed and would likely fight me in the parking lot if I even dared consider not dressing up, I began the hunt for The Outfit. And you guys? Costumes are expensive, yo! My initial plan was to go sort of 50's housewife a la Stepford, but don't you know that's impossible to do without spending $150 on a Vintage Frock or whatever. BFF was all on the whole poodle skirt bandwagon, and, just...no. I couldn't do it. On principle! I cannot have a poodle on my person! I cannot! (My sincerest apologies to those of you who have poodles that you love and cherish and who provide you with the companionship you so deserve. I am very happy for you and your poodle because although I DISLIKE! them, I do not want any harm to befall them and am happy that you are providing them with love and care. But please, keep it over there away from me and don't make me look at it. But still, happy for you.)
So yeah, poodle skirt is not an option, and I found several that had other appliques like records or music note which is fine, however, they all cost like 30 bucks. Which I know is not outrageous or anything, but y'all, I still don't have a j-o-b and 50's costume was never in the "Food, Clothing, Shelter" list of needs my Dad raised us with. So sorry non-poodle skirt. You will not be coming home with me. On my second Goodwill trip, I found the above dress. WOO HOO! It was a couple of sizes too small so I had to cut the seam all the way to the waist in the back to allow for all the breathing stuff that the medical community insists is so important. But I'd say it worked quite well. Except that it smelled like a Goodwill and I forgot to wash it until the day of the party and it's made of really high quality classy rayon so it was all DRY CLEAN ONLY and yeah right so I threw it in the sink with lingerie soap to do some handwashing. And then I was in such a hurry to not be handwashing this dress that I didn't exactly rinse it all the way so instead of smelling like a Goodwill, I smelled dinstinctly like a 90 year old woman IN a Goodwill. So there's that.
My lovely friend, Amanda, loaned me her cute little white shrug, and I got the ribbon for my hair and the waistband for like $3 or something at a fabric shop. Then there were the shoes. The adorable, pinching, suffocating, blister making shoes I had to borrow. See, the party was an hour and a half away from where I live so I was getting ready at a friend's house nearby. I bought some faux Keds at Wal-Mart to wear with these little white bobby socks. Don't you know I was all ready to go before I realized I left my shoes at home. An hour and a half away. I yelled a few words I think. I can't be sure. But my darling friend had these cute pair of Steve Madden pumps with a kitten heel, and because I didn't see myself strutting into this party with my Asics on, I figured I'd have to make them work. Here's the thing: I wear a 9 1/2 shoe. Except in Steve Madden's, which I have to wear a 10, and even then there is zero wiggle room. The shoes she loaned me? Were a 9. Sometimes, you just have to commit to the character. I wore them and danced and twirled and laughed all night about how agonizingly tight they were because apparently my Self thinks that kind of thing is funny.
And then we went home and drank orange juice while reading the news and making sarcastic comments. Because that's what they did in the 50's.