Tuesday, October 28, 2008

To the dogs...

So I was asked to dog sit last week for a friend of mine. 3 dogs and a cat. She usually brings the pack over to another friend's house when she's out of town, but because the new puppy is sick, she needed someone to watch them at her house. As most of you know, I'm an extreme animal lover and have watched her crew for her a couple of times before. Let me tell you, I had the best time with these dogs.

Today's episode features special appearances by:

Cooper





Cooper is the sweetest boy. He comes and sits by me on the sofa and either gets in my lap or puts his head on my shoulder. I love him completely. However, he is also a bully and is all I am beagle, hear me roar. He wants to do well, but he gets all excited and alpha dog and starts with the whole Arrrooooooooorooooooo!!!


Lola





Poor Lola. She has every allergy imaginable and has to wear a fido cone, tshirt, and diaper all the time so she doesn't scratch her little body raw. You have not seen cute till you see that grumpy little shih tzu face peeking out from a purple cone. I love her completely.

Codi




He's all little and floppy and awkward like puppies are. Sharpest. Teeth. Ever. Apparently, I am part rawhide. I didn't know this before Codi. I love him completely.

(A special thank you to Deedra for letting me steal pictures from her without her knowing.)

Dinner went pretty well. Coop and Lola ate first, because Coop is wound a little bit tight and has to go out while Codi eats. Otherwise, he'll eat all of Codi's food. Poor baby Codi had to sit and watch while the other 2 ate and he was all pitiful and barking at Cooper for not sharing. Broke my heart. Luckily, Cooper is also part vacuum so it did not take him long to finish. Once they were done, I let them out in the yard for business and after Codi signs off, he walked right through it. Sigh. Good thing you're cute kiddo.

Once back inside, I was sitting on the floor playing with some toys with Codi. Cooper's territorial side kicks in so he was trying to take all the toys that Codi picks up. Not okay with me because I am also part preschool teacher. I had this one particular ball/rope thing that Codi was tugging on. Cooper came up and started this mean growl at him, so I did what any normal 28 year old woman would do. I barked. Loud. To be honest, I didn't know I had that in me. It just kind of came out, and Coop freaked out. He didn't know what the heck just happened and went running across the living room with his ears all back and nervous. Awesome. He shook it off and came back over and started with the barking and growling at Codi. Has history taught you nothing? I barked again and he went running again all scared. For the rest of the night, that dog was so good. He would come and sit all quiet next to me with his ears back. Anytime he'd start towards Codi with the growling, I'd growl at him and he'd snap back to my side all well behaved. I am the pack leader. Not you, little beagle.

Lola does NOT like Codi. She cannot be bothered with his puppiness and wants nothing to do with him. She was completely sweet and friendly to me. Until I pet Codi. This apparently is the ultimate betrayal to her. I tried to pet her after I pet the puppy, and she all rolled half on her side and growled and kicked her foot in the air at me all no you didn't try to come pet me after you pet him. Poor kid. I didn't bark at her though. If you are growling at me because you don't want me in your personal space, then I understand. But do not growl because you think you are the man. I make that decision. Anyway, she pretty much ignored me for the rest of the night. You know..because I smelled like puppy.

Dee also has the most beautiful cat named Lynx. I forgot to introduce him to you earlier:



He's beautiful and is pretty sweet to me also, although I hear he's a bit schizo and will maul you on occasion. He liked to be petted as long as the dogs weren't around. When they were all laying around the living room asleep, he pranced in to check everything out like it was his idea for them to sleep. Ever notice how cats have totally awesome stalking skills? They can sit bolt upright and lean perfectly in one direction without moving their bodies or losing balance (think tower of pisa). Innocent Codi was curled up on a pillow on one side of the doorway, completely oblivious to the panther that was all leaning around the corner eyeing him. I totally wish I would've had my camera. Luckily, Lynx lost interest otherwise Codi would've been cat food.

The next morning I fed Codi first just because the whole barking thing was just too pitiful for me to handle a second time. Lola can't eat with the cone on (seriously, how sad is that?). I took it off of her for breakfast, and I swear that little girl became a whole different dog once the food came out. She was all wiggling and running in place while she was waiting for me to put the bowl down. That is the definition of cuteness. Coop switched into turbo vacuum mode and completely inhaled his grub. I guess he ate a little faster than he could handle because he starts dry heaving all over the kitchen. You know what was awesome? When he puked all over the kitchen floor. Know what was even more awesome than that? When he ate it again. Ate. It. Again. On one hand, this is great because now I don't have to clean up dog vomit. On the other hand, he ATE IT AGAIN. I did a little dry heaving of my own at that point.

Sweet animals. I love them all completely.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Knock knock...

What's the best time to go to the dentist?

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Tooth hurty.

(Shut up. You know that's hilarious.)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Spoiled rotten...

Today has not been one of the best days, I admit. Been a rough ride around the office today, and I'm anxious to get out of here. There have been a few highlights like leaving to go drop off an order to a vendor for processing and some busy work that makes time go a little quicker. At lunch, I got to go with one of my coworkers to meet her friend's new puppy. Nothing like a sweet, soft puppy to cheer you up. She's go two other dogs that are sweet and adorable too. Poor Lola is the little Shih Tzu. She's got the worst allergies and has to wear the doggy cone all the time. But let me tell you...you can't help but smile when a tiny little dog in a purple cone comes tearing across the room wagging her tail and trying to get you to pick her up. Nothing much cuter than that, my friends. We stopped at Sonic on the way back to work and I got some lunch with a large coke. Pay close attention here...LARGE coke.

About an hour after we get back, an announcement comes across the paging system that there is a maintenance problem and no one is to use the restrooms or anything pertaining to water. Remember the large coke? One of my coworkers mentions the problem in the break room so I go take a look. Flooded. With Water. From the restrooms. It's only about 2:00 at this point. I don't get off work until 5:30 (large coke!). Do you know what happens when drainage water from restrooms has been sitting in a break room (where we eat by the way) for a few hours? The nose becomes a very unhappy part of the face. If anyone has ever had trouble meditating or finding a happy place, I suggest you put yourself in this situation. You will find a way to check out mentally really quick. I had just decided to go talk to some of the other girls in the office to distract myself, but remembered how funny they are and thought better of it.

I just got a secret phone call letting me know we had the all clear from maintenance. I'm surprised you didn't hear the stampede from where you are. 60 people, 4 hours, no restrooms? Not good. I realized that indoor plumbing has spoiled me rotten. It was getting pretty desperate around here. Although being the New Orleans girl that I am, I was about 15 minutes from pulling a French Quarter out in the back parking lot. I'm so classy. Haha.

Alright peeps, I've got 10 minutes before my weekend officially begins, and I'm off to Ross in search of a pimp cup.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I'm picking out my tiara...

So seriously, if crankiness were an award, I would totally have it in the bag. I could rule the land of Crankydom with my awesome cranky crown. Problem is I'm only cranky from the hours of 7:00-5:30 Monday through Thursday (as I write thing ON MY BREAK, the same company has called 4 times on my phone. I might yell.) So I could only rule Crankydom for 40 hours a week (OMG, now they're paging me.)Are there cranky Olympics? Because if there are and they happen Mon-Thurs between the above stated hours, I've got the GOLD.(Dude, for real. He paged me AGAIN. Maybe I'm unavailable at the moment. Ever think of that???)

What if there was a cranky crown? It would most likely be impossible to be cranky when you are wearing a crown. Actually, I know this fact to be true. I remember one spectacularly miserable day where I was with a good friend, and we were very upset (mean boys). I put a tiara and flashing Mardi Gras beads on and ate Ben & Jerry's right out of the container (New York Super Fudge Chunk. Yes, Ben & Jerry, I will marry you.) There was not much crankiness after that. Like magic. So my plan is tomorrow morning when I arrive for the day of toxic workplaceness, I am going to bring my tiara.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Case of the Mondays...

Absolutely nothing at all interesting to say, but I am bored and feel like talking to listen up...

It's Monday. Mondays make me so cranky or something. Have you seen that cute little video of the penguin and the polar bear?




I'm feeling totally polar today.

Had a pretty good weekend. Nothing thrilling or anything, but overall pretty good. Spent Friday evening doing homework because I am young, single, and WILD.

Saturday, I went to Kohl's in search of THE purse. Oh listen to this! I got a Kohl's ad in the mail stating purses would be 50-60% off, and I'm all over that because I've been hunting the perfect one for a while. (Going forward, I shall refer to THE purse as Moby Dick - or the white whale - depending on what I think is funnier at that moment). Well, apparently Kohl's lies. They were NOT 50-60%. More like 30-40. And I even made sure to be there during POWER HOURS (WOO!), but still no 60% to be found. No purse for me. Stoopid Kohl's. Went to mom's after that to hug on my fat, little, fluffy puppy. Gosh, I love that dog. She loves me so much too which is really good for my self esteem. And finally got to change out the songs on my mp3 player. My computer doesn't support the software so I've been running to the same few songs for a very long time. I had to take it all to mom's to do it on her computer, but guess who'll be running on that treadmill to some new tunes? Oh yeah, it'll be me.

On Sunday (in continuation of this scandalous weekend I was living), I went to the grocery (I know! WOO!) and then I...get this....LAID ON THE COUCH. I'm CRAZY I tell you! CRAZY! And the Saints were NOT on tv again which made me get all grumpy and yell things at the tv. Apparently, people in Texas want to see the Texans play or something. Whatever. They're wrong.

So here we are at Polar Bear Monday. And that's pretty much all I have to say for now.

Peace.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Seen today...

On the McDonald's DRIVE THRU window...

"Braille and Picture Menus Available"

Braille menus. In the DRIVE thru.

Anybody with me on this?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I'm feeling less than zen...

Stress is not fun. It's just not fun in any way. This week has just been brutal on the stress meter, and I would very much like it to chill the heck out. Feels like my body and emotions are all ramped up on the stress adrenaline, and it seems I'm one stupid person's comment away from a complete freak out. But my brain feels sort of sane, which is entirely unusual for me. Problem is, my brain is trying to tell the rest of me to chill out, but the rest of me is apparently stubborn and hard of hearing and chooses not to listen. Ugh.

Work is ridiculous. There are numerous loooooong stories I could tell you of the immature, manipulative, lying antics that happen daily around here, but honestly, I just don't have the energy for it. What happened to professionalism? Is it really so hard to put your big boy shorts on and work like a grown up? From the second I walk in this place, I can feel my blood pressure going up. My neck starts tensing and I want to throw things. This cannot be healthy. Oh, and did I mention I'm not allowed to socialize? Yeah, got in trouble for that. Even though everyone else is allowed to yell and laugh and punch on each other (stupid boys), my good work friend (who sits two cubes down) and I cannot say a word to each other. We work 10 hour days. You try sitting 5 feet away from one of your only friends in the whole state for 10 hours and not talk to her. I guarantee you will want to throw things. Or kick people.

On top of it, I have so much school work to catch up on, and it's seriously beginning to overwhelm. Luckily, my math teacher is not a stickler for turning things in on time, so I have a little leeway in that class. If it doesn't get done by Friday, no big deal. I do have to take a test by tomorrow night though. The big stressor is the English paper due on Friday. I just can't seem to get my brain to engage on the topic. The effects of point of view on the reader from one of three short stories. Sorry, just don't care. I have nothing to say on that topic, so I'm having a hard time even faking it. Sigh.

Nothing too major and dramatic thankfully, and I know it could completely be a million times worse so I am not complaining. Just venting about all this craziness that is piling up on the plate. Just gotta buckle down for the next 2 days and get it done. Then I shall lay out by the pool all weekend in my fabulous new swimsuit (not the 75 year old woman kind) and relax all my stresses away.

And in completely unrelated news, how flipping cute is this miniature donkey?

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Beautiful perspective...

A friend of mine sent this to me today and I thought I would share...

"How can you know that you are saved?"
A two-year-old boy was once staring at a heater, fascinated by its bright orange glow. His father saw him and warned, "Don't touch that heater son. It may look pretty, but it's hot." The little boy believed him, and moved away from the heater. Sometime later, when his father had left the room he thought to himself, "I wonder if it really is hot." He then reached out to touch it and see for himself. The second his flesh burned, he stopped believing it was hot. He now knew it was hot! He had moved out of the realm of belief into the realm of experience! Many Christians believed in God's existence before their conversion. However, when they obeyed the Word of God, turned from their sins and embraced Jesus Christ, they stopped just believing. The moment they reached out and touched the heater bar of God's mercy, they moved out of belief only into the realm of experience. This experience is so radical, Jesus referred to it as being "born again." The Apostle Paul said if you are "in Christ" you are a brand new creature. When Paul wrote to the church at Corinth, he said, "My speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God" (1 Corinthians 2:4-5). What Paul was saying was, "I deliberately didn't talk you into your faith, but I let God's power transform you." He didn't reach them through an intellectual assent, but through the realm of personal experience. Suppose two men walked into the room just after that child had burned his hand on the heater. One was a heater manufacturer and the other a skin specialist. Both assured that boy that he couldn't possibly have been burned. But all the experts, theories, equations and arguments in the world will not dissuade that boy, because of his experience. Those who have been transformed by God's power need never fear scientific nor any other argument, because the man with an experience is not at the mercy of a man with an argument. "For our Gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power, and in the Holy Spirit and in much assurance& " (1 Thessalonians 1:5).


Be blessed today!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Princess Grace

So I'm not the most coordinated person in the world. I have pretty substantial hearing loss and really, really bad ears so my balance is completely off. I'm fairly certain this is the sole reason I fall out of chairs in the middle of my office (true story) or can't hold my keys for more than 5 seconds without dropping them 10 times in a row. I can't help it. It's the ears.

Over the weekend, Shara and I were discussing Mary Kay compacts and how completely fantastic they are. For those of you unfamiliar with a Mary Kay compact, there are several little sections where you can just snap in your favorite colors. When you run out of one, you just push the little button on the back, empty color tray pops out, and in goes the new one. This way you don't have to repurchase the compact every time you run out of a color (รก la Clinique). I pull my compact out so we could compare colors in our matching Mary Kay compacts, and I realized that I have what I believe to be Moonstone. It just so happens that my mom was considering ordering Moonstone. This is quite an exciting moment for me (I don't really know why, except that we were just talking about Moonstone yesterday, and omg, I totally already have it). I try to pop out the little color so I can read the name on the back of it. Yeah well, apparently I popped it too hard. The whole compact starts flipping around and wobbling in my hands, and Moonstone goes sailing through the air, landing where? Right in the toilet. Sigh. Poor Moonstone. Another unsuspecting cosmetic lost to the sea at the hands of my amazing grace.

Okay so granted, I have no idea what my bad ears and lack of sufficient equilibrium has to do with me dropping makeup in the toilet. But it definitely explains the chair thing.