Insomnia and Some Other Such Somethings. Or Whatever.

So.

Insomnia. 

I mean, so what if the alarm is going off in 3 hours and 9 minutes? Who needs to sleep? All I know is I've been laying waiting for Tired to show up like 7 years now, and still, nothing doing.  And then I thought "Stretching!" because stretching helps a whole heck of a lot when you're feeling all cranky and creaky and insomniac-y.  So I stretched.  And while I had my left ankle on my right knee stretching out those glutes, I glance at my ankle and thought "Cankle!"  And then I had a panic attack or 7 because hello, wouldn't you?  Turns out it's not really a cankle situation, so much as it is a swollen ankle situation.  Which is still kind of alarming considering there is no logical reason for it to be swollen.  Well, that thought train turned into an extensive search for the bug bite that I most certainly had because hello, look at it!

Y'all, let me just tell you this: The human body is kind of rad. Because apparently when one's 30 year old body is confronted with the choice of sitting up to look for a bug bite on one's swollen cankle ankle at 3 am or remaining in a horizontal position and looking for a bug bite on one's cankle ankle, I'll be danged if one won't be able to stretch that cankle ankle all the way up to one's face to give it a looksie!  Tired + cranky + possible epidermal violation = mad bending skillz, yo. Math is math, people.

Anyway, so somewhere in that whole cankle/not cankle time of my life, my thought sparkles sparked "Blog!"  Because there is nothing more that people love to read than incoherent thoughts of a bendy insomniac, amiright?  I know I'M clicking on that link, so, you know, there's that.  Oh, but what happened was Brain said " Blog!" and then I had a rapid fire idea fest where I came up with all kinds of witty things to tell you.  And clearly you can tell how that movie ended.  I do know it had something to do with my laptop not working correctly, and how I can only open it to approximately a 45 degree angle before the screen goes black.  Which means I can only use my laptop when I'm lying down, which, in turn, means it's hyper annoying to try to type numbers of any sorts because of that whole "lacking a 10-key" thing and then I have to crane my neck up all awkward-like to use those number keys at the top that nobody ever uses or remembers are there.  So I guess whatever I thought about to tell you required numbers?  Weird, right?  Especially considering I did some mind-blowing numberless math not one paragraph ago.

Good gravy, people, are you even still around listening to this?  What am I even going on about?  This is like the Seinfeld of posts.  It's a blog about NOTHING!  (Please tell me you get that reference.  Because otherwise a certain younger brother of mine will not rest until you get it. So.) 

Note to self:  When you are insomniating, you get hungry at about 3:15 a.m.  And you know what else you get at 3:15 a.m.?  Tired!  I know, right?! Win!

Oh, and while we're on the subject, can we all please please please agree to stop saying "Just sayin'"?  Because really, most of you aren't using it in proper context anyway, so it's really just kind of annoying. Especially when it's used after every single thing you "just said." We know you're "just sayin'" because you JUST SAID IT. I don't know. It just seems to me that the whole eventual breakdown of society is hinging on this phrase.  Well, that phrase and rompers. And taking pictures with kissy lips and peace signs. Because really? Are we still doing that?  The answer is no.

Alright dudes, I think the ride on this thought coaster is over.  Disappointing, I know.  There were some thrills in there with some loops you weren't expecting, and in the end, you probably feel a little nauseous, but deep down, you know you'd ride it again.  Until next time, your homework assignment is to come up with a really cool name for the Thought Coaster. Make it really amusement parky!

You know you love me.
xoxo,
Gossip Girl


And P to the S:

Hollerrrrr!

No Main Idea...

So.

Today has been ridiculously dumb.  Beyond dumb really. How is that for a topic sentence? I set myself a nice little goal last night of really getting back into this whole blogging thing.  Like maybe if I just make myself type something, anything, everyday, then maybe, eventually, I'll have something to say.  Or feel funny again.  Or something.  I don't know. It's hard to really know what point one is trying to make when there is a furry beast breathing chicken and rice kibble breath in your face insisting with a furry beast paw that you just scratch a little right here.  No, not there...here.  Anyway, now that you're ready to crack a window open at the thought of all that chicken and rice kibble breath, the point I was trying to make, I think, is that I'm trying to get back to writing.  Did I say that already? 

Did I also mention that today is dumb?  Because it is.  It's painfully and ridiculously and marvelously gorgeous outside what with all the Fall in the South business, so really, I cannot gripe too very much.  Because let me tell you someting about seasons in the South:  if the humidity drops anywhere below 110%, well, you pretty much better hush your mouth about any complaining at all because for once you can go inside with the same hair you came outside with.  When I was a kid and I asked my dad how the weather would be, he would always give me the forecase as it pertained to hair. 

Me: "Dad, what's the weather going to be like this weekend?" 
Him:  "Great hair weather!"  Which, of course, meant low humidity. Or "terrible hair weather!" meant any day of the year that wasn't October, or that one day in April. 

Anyway, today is dumb mostly for mood reasons, as in, I am in a bad one.  Nothing you really need to hear about, nor do you want to, because really, it's nothing worth putting out into the universe at all. 

Whatever, let's not talk about me anymore, deal?

Tell me about you.  Are you dressing up for Halloween, if you're into that sort of thing? 

Dude, I don't even know...

Thank you Google images for providing the visual aid for this presentation.

Y'all.  Can we please talk about this?  Have you seen it yet? No, you haven't?  Well, let me just say RUN! Run as far from this movie as you can.  Do not look back, even when you remember Topher Grace is in it and ohmygosh, don't you just love Topher Grace?  I need you to trust me here.  And more importantly YOU need you to trust me here.

I saw it tonight, and...just...wow.  I have sooo many questions.  First of all, what the? And also huh?  And maybe some are you kidding me with this?  But most of all, I need to know WHY?  Can someone please enlighten me here?  I just need to know.  Was it just an idea thrown together over a night of one too many cocktails?  Like "Oh hey, how many Big Name Actors do you think we can get into one movie?"  I just cannot understand how so many actors who have done some pretty nice work previously, seem to have lost all ability to act like a character.  It was painful.  And loooong. Like over two hours long. (!!!)  And the chemistry?  What chemistry?  Have these people even met each other ever before filming this scene?  I just do not understand.

Now don't get me wrong. I can't discount the entire thing.  Ashton Kutcher is in it, after all.  And say what you want about him but you cannot deny the fact that he is one good looking dude.    I could watch the guy eat cereal for two hours and be just fine.  Also, Jennifer Garner. Adorable. But that's an awful lot of weight for those two pretty faces to carry around.  I can't help but feel so sorry for all the boyfriends/husbands/men in the life of the girls who you KNOW were all SQUEE! It's Valentine's Day!  Oooh honeykins, let's go see the movie! That's just straight up cold of those producers/directors/writers/whoevers to do that to these guys.

So. My recommendation to you is this.  Avoid it at the theater  Just save your $100 for the movie ticket, and wait for it on DVD.  Or even better, wait until it shows up on TBS on some random Saturday afternoon when you had no intention of getting out of your stretchy pants anyway.  That's the way to roll with movies like this.

Of course, you know I'll probably end up buying it when it hits the Wal-Mart $5 bin. 

What? 

I told you Ashton Kutcher was in it. 

Shout out to Bing on this one for representin'

So....um.....let's see....

You guys. I am blank. Like blank blank. I keep telling myself that I am going to keep up with this blog and post every day and whatever. But each time I come to this little white box it's like my whole brain powers down. What is that about? Because I sure think of lots of things to say when I'm driving in my car by myself.

For example: Today, I learned the proper way to open a Wendy's salt packet. I'm pretty sure I dumped like 3 things of salt on my fries solely because I was so thrilled by this new way of opening the salt. As it turns out, you don't have to tear the packet open at the top. It is apparently pre-perforated (actual word?) and you just have to snap it in half. RIGHT ALONG THE DOTTED LINE! Um, excuse me genius salt packet maker?! Why has the world not made a bigger deal of your brilliance? Because seriously? Life changed, right here.

Sidenote: How delicious are Wendy's fries? And do you dunk them in chocolate frosty like I do? Because you should be doing just that. I dare you to find something more amazing than Wendy's fries in a frosty. Double dare you. You might have an argument if you chose to throw spa massage on the table, but then I would just counter with a $3 price tag, and you would again be wrong. So that's something to think about.
End sidenote.

Point being? I'm not sure really. But the salt thing was pretty cool.

Case of the Mondays...

Absolutely nothing at all interesting to say, but I am bored and feel like talking to listen up...

It's Monday. Mondays make me so cranky or something. Have you seen that cute little video of the penguin and the polar bear?




I'm feeling totally polar today.

Had a pretty good weekend. Nothing thrilling or anything, but overall pretty good. Spent Friday evening doing homework because I am young, single, and WILD.

Saturday, I went to Kohl's in search of THE purse. Oh listen to this! I got a Kohl's ad in the mail stating purses would be 50-60% off, and I'm all over that because I've been hunting the perfect one for a while. (Going forward, I shall refer to THE purse as Moby Dick - or the white whale - depending on what I think is funnier at that moment). Well, apparently Kohl's lies. They were NOT 50-60%. More like 30-40. And I even made sure to be there during POWER HOURS (WOO!), but still no 60% to be found. No purse for me. Stoopid Kohl's. Went to mom's after that to hug on my fat, little, fluffy puppy. Gosh, I love that dog. She loves me so much too which is really good for my self esteem. And finally got to change out the songs on my mp3 player. My computer doesn't support the software so I've been running to the same few songs for a very long time. I had to take it all to mom's to do it on her computer, but guess who'll be running on that treadmill to some new tunes? Oh yeah, it'll be me.

On Sunday (in continuation of this scandalous weekend I was living), I went to the grocery (I know! WOO!) and then I...get this....LAID ON THE COUCH. I'm CRAZY I tell you! CRAZY! And the Saints were NOT on tv again which made me get all grumpy and yell things at the tv. Apparently, people in Texas want to see the Texans play or something. Whatever. They're wrong.

So here we are at Polar Bear Monday. And that's pretty much all I have to say for now.

Peace.