Thursday, November 20, 2008

Tone deaf...

So do any of you out there have any idea how the author of "Some Are Born to Sweet Delight" used tone to reinforce the central idea of the story?

Also, if you could tell me what the central idea is, that'd be great too.

And one more thing, if you order a Quarter Pounder with no pickles, and the ticket stuck to the order has the words No Pickles printed on it, it does NOT mean there are no pickles on your burger. Do not be misled. I highly suggest you double check their work, otherwise you will not discover their inaccuracies until after you have taken a big bite of it. Trust me on this.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Things that affect me more than they should...

Taco Bell giving me a fork instead of a spork. It makes me crazy. I don't know why.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Dollars and sense...

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not big into politics. I rarely watch the news and can’t usually talk current events with anyone. However, as you may have noticed, it’s somewhat hard to miss all the economy talk. It’s everywhere. Foreclosures! Bailout! Recession! Then there’s all the finger pointing and blame. The Bush admistration! Republicans! Democrats! Britney Spears! Sure I’ve noticed things have gotten more expensive lately (dude, I found a shirt for $24.99 at Ross yesterday. Ross! Uh, NO.) and my electric bill is slowly working its way up. But it wasn’t until today that I really put some brain power into the cause of it all. Today is when I realized what is was that has caused Wall Street to come crumbling down and the economy of this great country to fall into the pit of despair. I know who is responsible for this terrible burden.


The reason? I quit shopping.

As many of you know, I ruled Retail Therapy. There was not one who could out-shop or out-bargain-hunt me. There was a day when I walked through Old Navy and honestly had every single thing in the lady clothes section (only the cute stuff of course. Old Navy can get kind of blech.). Once upon a time, I may or may not have spent $300 in one day at Victoria’s Secret (shut up. It was the semi-annual sale. You girls KNOW how much stuff I got for that amount of money.)(Plus I returned most of it later). I wore the shopaholic title proudly. It was my outlet for stress and boredom, and, although it showed my complete lack of discipline, I loved it.

Then I quit. I don’t really remember when or why (I think maybe rent had something to do with it), but I just didn’t enjoy it anymore. I got tired of “stuff” and a closet full of clothes with nothing to wear and credit card bills with no end in sight. I started giving away anything that didn’t bring me joy to anyone I could think of who would want it. It was very freeing. However, once I started doing the math, I realized that the economy started crapping out right about the time I gave up the spending. Very interesting. Who would’ve guessed that my lack of discipline and complete boredom was supporting the entire economic system? WOW!

Now because I have matured into the responsible adult that I am (ha!), I feel it is my duty to right this dire situation I’ve put us all in. I have developed what I believe to be the solution to this economic breakdown, and I fully intend on presenting this theory to the economists or congress people or whoever it is that will understand my brilliance. Are you ready? I propose that another $700 billion (or million or thousand or whatever…I’m flexible) bailout be created and given to me, and I’ll take care of it from there. You guys, can you imagine the shopping I could do with that kind of money? The economy would boom! I promise it would all be spent on you though. Or at least most of it. I have no interest in spending that kind of money on myself (although I am getting a facial and a massage. Deal with it.). Instead of giving it to these greedy CEO broker types who are spending it on company retreats at the Ritz, that bailout would be all by the people, for the people, in sickness and health, with liberty and justice for all. What do you think? Can I count on your vote?

Monday, November 17, 2008

Not warm and definitely not fuzzy...

Cold has finally come to central Texas. And by cold I mean 60 degrees. I know that’s nothing, but nevertheless, I’m freezing. Because I had a much more substantial presence this time last year (i.e. 30 lbs additional insulation), none of my cold weather clothes fit. This is good and bad. Good because GO JENNY! GO JENNY! Bad because whoever decides what styles will be “in” this season apparently forgot to take their meds on “fashion” day. I spent the last 2 days trying to find something…anything…that will keep me warm, but not ugly. This something does not exist.

We have 2 options this season: Unimaginably bulky cableknits (which I have nothing against then they are of normal size, but this is Costco bulk I’m talking) or those awful cardigan/empire waist/giant button/bell sleeve/weird color things. Sorry, but I cannot support that campaign. Oh and I forgot the 3rd option: Christmas tree sweatshirts. Do you know I saw an appliquéd Christmas moose on a shirt last night? A MOOSE. I would have LOVED to sit in on the board meeting where that idea was approved.

Not even Target could help me on this. Target was already on my naughty list and has been for awhile now. I can’t tell you exactly when the relationship went sour, but one morning I just woke up and decided I wanted out. However, because I had numb fingers and goosebumpy arms, I decided to bury the hatchet. Epic. Fail. Bell sleeves and giant buttons everywhere! And in several instances, the cardigan/button/weird color now included cableknit. OMG, they’re mutating! I was sulking and just as I had given up all hope…


I’m pretty sure there was some sort of heavenly chorus happening and I swear the room got a little brighter. And yes, I am aware that it is a rainbow splatter painted rhinestone studded batman shirt and short sleeved and I’m supposed to be looking for winter stuff. But think about it…if there were ever a rainbow splatter painted rhinestone studded batman personality to walk this earth, you know it’s me. So as I’m holding my soulshirt in my hands and realizing the mother ship has finally called me home, I look at the price tag. *Insert record screech here* $30. For a tshirt. At Target. Oh mass retailer, it is so ON! Consider yourself on notice.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Things I learned this week, Part 2

Apparently saying "Thank you so much" in San Antonio is the equivalent of saying "I love you and want to have your babies so please illegally look up my phone number and text stalk me at 4 in the morning" anywhere else.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Things I have learned this week...

There is a Tyrannosaurus Rex running around in the middle of the Earth. Mmm hmm. It's true. Journey to the Center of the Earth said so.

There's a scene where Brendan Fraser is running from TR (as he is known by his friends), and the ground cracks open and TR falls down into the abyss. Here's my question...where is he going to land? He's already in the middle of the Earth, so if he falls through that ground is he going to end up in like China or something?

These are important things I think we all need to think about.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Heavy hearted...

Heavy hearted...
I've been staring at this empty screen trying to find words that make sense. Words that express the shock and heaviness I'm feeling. I very rarely venture into politics discussions. I've witnessed very few that don't end in people angry and yelling at each other because someone does not agree with their point of view. This is why there are parties. Because not everyone believes the same things. It doesn't necessarily mean one is right and one is wrong. Just makes us each different, and we should all respect that. If I like apples, but you like oranges, are you going to rip my head off because of it? No. I respect everyone's right to have their own opinion and admire the people who got out and voted to support it. However, this election has me stunned.

The main issue in this election that was most important to me is abortion. I am 100% against any and all forms of it, and I will openly admit that to anyone who asks. I, in NO WAY, judge anyone who has had one. I know that it was not an easy decision for any woman who has chosen it, and would not dare say what I would do in a similar situation. I understand where a person can say it's not the governments role to dictate what a woman can do with her own body. Okay, I can stand behind that argument. However, we're not talking about tattoos or piercings or boob jobs. We're talking about a baby. It's a living being. Why is it not okay for a government to tell a woman what to do with her body, but it's okay for the woman to dictate what to do with a baby's body? This absolutely breaks my heart. I understand traumatic situations can happen, but to hear our new president-elect say that if a woman "makes a mistake", why should she be "punished" with a baby?!?! I'm sorry, but I thought it was pretty common knowledge that sex can equal baby. Most people know that going into it and are willing to take that risk.

It is also my understanding that this man wants to overturn a ruling that makes partial birth abortion illegal. This makes me nauseous. Does everyone understand exactly what partial birth abortion is? It means the doctor can pull the baby's entire body out feet first, but as long as the child's head is still inside the mother, the pregnancy can be terminated. Meaning this baby's beating heart is a part of this world, yet it can still be killed. I'll leave it up to Google to explain to you how exactly they terminate that little baby. I guarantee you it's disgusting. What the heck is wrong with someone who can say this is ok? Push one more time and give that baby to someone who wants it.

I understand this is not a major issue for some people. Abortion is low on the list behind economy and healthcare. That's your prerogative, and I will respect that. But that absolutely terrifies me. What has happened to this world when people are more interested in their 401(k)'s than what crimes are being committed against a newborn's beating heart? When did this world become so desensitized? Every single other issue aside, the fact that a man who supports a child who has survived such horrifc acts being denied medical help and left alone to die, can be elected to run this country? That absolutely terrifies me to my core. I don't understand how we got to this place.

I sat in a meeting this morning at work and listened to some of my co-workers hash it out about who should've done what and who said this and why didn't he do that. It was all lies. Grown men lying and conniving and blaming one another for things they did themselves just so the finger doesn't point back to them. For what reason? Be a man and say yes, I said that, here's why. Yes, I did that and here's why. What happened to honesty? What happened to integrity? I walked out of that office feeling more hopeless than I have in a long time.

It seems people focus on the "big issues" so much that they don't see how much the little things are starting to wear away at us. Listen to the song "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns. I'm not saying I'm perfect, and that I do everything right. I have done some things that I absolutely swore I would never do, yet I allowed myself to slowly let my guard down. To slowly inch closer to disaster. Eventually, those little, baby steps will lead you right off a cliff. My heart breaks for where things are headed, and I'm scared to see where this road is leading, but I will keep my faith in the One who wrote the story. As long as we keep looking up, we'll be ok. He's the only one who'll be able to offer true "hope" and "change."