So seriously, if crankiness were an award, I would totally have it in the bag. I could rule the land of Crankydom with my awesome cranky crown. Problem is I'm only cranky from the hours of 7:00-5:30 Monday through Thursday (as I write thing ON MY BREAK, the same company has called 4 times on my phone. I might yell.) So I could only rule Crankydom for 40 hours a week (OMG, now they're paging me.)Are there cranky Olympics? Because if there are and they happen Mon-Thurs between the above stated hours, I've got the GOLD.(Dude, for real. He paged me AGAIN. Maybe I'm unavailable at the moment. Ever think of that???)
What if there was a cranky crown? It would most likely be impossible to be cranky when you are wearing a crown. Actually, I know this fact to be true. I remember one spectacularly miserable day where I was with a good friend, and we were very upset (mean boys). I put a tiara and flashing Mardi Gras beads on and ate Ben & Jerry's right out of the container (New York Super Fudge Chunk. Yes, Ben & Jerry, I will marry you.) There was not much crankiness after that. Like magic. So my plan is tomorrow morning when I arrive for the day of toxic workplaceness, I am going to bring my tiara.