Thursday, March 11, 2010


Imagine with me, if you will, your happy place.  Where your mind goes when it wants to be relieved of all the stresses of the day.  Now close your eyes for a moment.  Imagine yourself in a warm, comfortable bed.  All by yourself so no covers are being stolen.  No snoring is disrupting your slumber. No alarm clock to go off in just a few hours.  The night is yours to sleep until you're finished. Your head has found that perfect spot on the pillow which is now cradling your neck in full support of your relaxation.  The temperature in the room has found that delicate balance between hot and cold allowing you to sink into that cozy place of wonderful, restful sleep. Now, take a deep breath, and surrender yourself to this healing cocoon of serenity.

And when you think it is impossible for yourself to be sleeping any more soundly...


Guess whose stupid neighbors got a new roof today?  Guess who lives in a townhouse that is in the unit directly next door and connected to the new roof neighbors?  Guess who was so close to the roofing action that she literally could have reached out her bedroom window and stolen the stupid ladder?  Guess where early morning banging roofers falls on my Are You Freaking Kidding Me?! pet peeve list?

Y'all need to understand something very critical here.  I am not, nor will I ever be, a morning person.  It's just a biological (physiological?) fact of my life, one which I have made peace with. Add to that the fact that I am no stranger to insomnia, and, well, you've just got yourself one grumpy little chicken, mister.

Ugh, this morning was this fantastic blend of cotton and temperature and relaxation and soundness of sleep, then BAM!  The Bangers Boys report to work.  I woke up groggily thinking someone was banging on my door, but as the fog wore off, I recognized the sound.  The awful, cranky-inducing sound.  Without even picking my head off the pillow, I reached to the window and flipped one of the slats on the blinds.  There it was.  The Ladder. Noooooooooooooooooo!  And then I saw two men climbing the ladder with all kinds of supplies, and all I could think was, "Poor guys had no idea they were going to die at the hands of an unrested woman today."

Gracie even poked her little head up and looked at me all blinky-eyed like "What the....?"

I know, kiddo.  I know.

And there's not a darn thing we could do, but lay there and listen to the banging.  And the thudding.  And the nailing.  And the Spanish.  As I laid there, I thought of all the ways I could get back at the neighbors for being so rude.  But I mean, seriously, they have to get their new roof right?  It's not their fault roofing just happens to be annoying and stupid and LOUD.  And I can't get mad at the roofer dudes because they're just trying to get a paycheck.  Sigh. 

HOWEVER, that was their volume card for the year.  No more!  If at any point in the next year, I am woken up by loud noises from neighbor on the left, I am stealing their ladder.

The end.


Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh man that sucks. Years ago I worked nights as an RN and slept during the day. Even with a noise machine there are so many daytime sounds that interfere with sleep. But house construction's the worst!
What a cute dog.

kathryn said...

Dammit! No fair! I looove my sleep, too. (As I'm writing this at 5am, after being up since 3:25...yeah, insomnia bites). Aren't there noise laws in your neck of the woods? I think they can't start banging before 8 or 9am here during the week...later on the weekends.

that's why I invested in white noise (which I'm now addicted to)...but it drowns out the rest of the world so I can finish that dreamy dream. Now, Clooney....where were we??

Spot said...

I'm pretty much allergic to mornings as well. I love the term "cranky little chicken". I may have to use that.

Sorry about your happy sleepy place and the roofing invasion.


Alicia said...

My sister suffers from insomnia and the least little noise wakes her. Me? I sleep like a log. I can wake up out of a sound sleep and sound fully awake and then go right back to sleeping like a baby (*knocking on wood*) Everytime I brag about it I lose the ability to sleep :-)

Lise said...

Omg I so feel your pain on this one. I once got up at 5.30am on the day of an exam, and yelled at builders next door about the noise restriction laws and how they were violating them. In my flannel pyjamas no less. I am sooooo not a morning person that I actually lost my mind!

In my anti-morning person opinions, stealing the ladder is totally justified, and I am with you all the way if you feel the need next time buddy :)