Sunday, August 29, 2010

Old school: Being deaf sucks...

My mom is staying south tonight at my aunt's house so my dad and I decide to go to a movie. He was telling me he hasn't been to a movie in the theater in years because he always feels cheated. I can totally understand because nothing sucks more than forking over $20 for movie and popcorn and all that and then the movie sucks yes? So anyways, he's all excited cuz we're going to see Bee Movie and this is his first time in a stadium theater. We get the popcorn and drinks and let me tell you...this is the smallest "stadium" theater I've ever seen. I am not exaggerating when I tell you it was 6 rows. SIX. Whatever, shake it off right? So you know how when you're eating popcorn and all the butter and salt and stuff is at the top and then you finally get down to that part of the popcorn that is butterless? Sad moment right? Most theaters the popcorn is good enough to move past this sad time, but new Cinemark??? Noooooooo. NAS-TEE!!!! Couldn't even eat it. (I should probably mention that both my dad and I are the biggest popcorn whores ever to walk this Earth. Truly. Call us names, fine. Bad popcorn, you have a 5 second head start). Deep breath. The movie starts and I can't hear any of it. I know if I can't hear it, no way can my Dad hear it. I go to nicely tell the manager that my dad is hard of hearing (thought I'd get more sympathy than being hard of hearing myself) and could she please have the volume bumped up some. Manager lady gets on her little radio and apparently fake calls somebody cuz guess what volume was NOT turned up at all? Did you guess Bee Movie? I am starting to feel SOOO Italian at this point. My sweet dad being the cool older guy that he is keeps "whispering" "CAN YOU HEAR ANY OF IT? THEY DIDN'T TURN IT UP DID THEY? WANT ME TO GO?" all loud and stuff. LOVE him! So he goes out and tells manager lady that his daughter can't hear the movie (which is SO freaking hilarious to me. Why must we put the deaf blame on each other?). Again, she fake radios cuz nada. So we gave up. We decided our money back is way better than working (which is totally what is is when you are attempting to hear) through this movie. We had to ask manager lady for our refund. She didn't question a thing about it. Guess it was pretty clear when hard of hearing Dad and daughter who can't hear were asking for it. So we came home and sang Gordon Lightfoot songs while Daddy played the guitar. Life is good. :)

2 comments:

kathryn said...

Oh, God...."popcorn whores"...this is priceless!

That stupid theatre experience was doomed from the start...bad popcorn, only 6 rows?!? WTF? I know they're looking to save space and cram as many theatres into one building as possible, but seriously?

I'm glad you got your $$ back. I'd boycott from now on...

Alicia said...

I think it's so sweet that you and your dad go to the movies together, so sad you had to miss it.