Monday, April 11, 2011

All Aboard the Brain Train!...

First stop...RandomTown!


That opening sentence annoys me in ways that I'm not sure I could actually explain; however, this week has been H-E-Doublehockeysticks, and I really just don't care to think of anything better.  Let me know if you come up with anything.  I won't change it because of all the not caring, but I do promise to admire your cleverness in my mind.  So.

Moving on.

Let's do bullets, yeah? Yeah!
  • How exactly is "yeah" supposed to be spelled anyway?  When used in "yes" context, I mean, and pronounced "yahyuh" minus the Lil' Jon.  (HUH?! WHAAT?! You know what I'm saying.)  Anyway, is it "yeah" with an h, or "yea" without an h, which I would pronounce "yay!" as in "Yay!"  Help me, internet.
  • Why isn't blogger letting me line space between my bullets?!  This is making me claustrophobic. Hold please, while I work on this technical issue....
  • Be the bullet.
  • Arrggh.  Fine. Single space.  Whatever. 
Let's just do numbers, yeah? Yea(h)!
  1. I can't decide which makes me happier:  when my dog stands in the corner and throws up on the curtains, or when she takes her fresh-out-of-the-bath-wet-dogness and lays right on top of my latest load of clean laundry.  Can you see why this would cause inner conflict?
  2. Oh dear betsy, now it's not line spacing between numbers.  HTML, you are ON MY LIST!
But let me ask you this, do you also have a hard time focusing on anything work-related when you know you have a zit on your forehead?  The kind you can totally feel, and seriously, how does it hurt like that, when you can't even really see it?  So you get your compact mirror that you keep in your top desk drawer for emergencies such as this, but that doesn't really stand on it's own so you lay it flat on the desk?  And then you sort of hang your head over it at an angle so you can see The Offender appropriately to determine how best to proceed?  But then it turns out, you can't see anything at all because your head is now in between the mirror and the light source, not unlike some sort of Lunar Blemish Eclipse?  Does this happen to you?  No? Yeah, me neither.


Are we having fun here or what?  The Brain Train is clearly a speeding bullet train that offers no warnings of upcoming stops and/or starts so really it's best to just stay seated and buckled in.  I guess this is somewhat like the Thought Coaster, but really, have you had enough of my analogies yet?

Just one last thing before I let you go:  I kind of hate it when there are toast crumbs in the tub of butter.  It totally weirds me out.

The end.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with the mirror in the desk drawer to view the zit on your forehead that you hope will somehow vanish as the day progresses but instead it grows larger and more bothersome...a volcano ready to erupt! Bleh