Pop Quiz...

Question:  As I vacuumed this afternoon, how far did I get before I realized the canister was not on, therefore recycling all dust and debris right back onto the floor?

(a) The hallway
(b) The hallway and the kitchen
(c) The hallway, the kitchen, and twice around the living room

If you answered C, give yourself 10 points.  And then another 5 points for being pretty.

Odds and ends...

'Sup dudes? I hope everybody is doing well.  Have you gotten all your Christmas shopping done?  I have.  Yep.  I was able to get everyone I know something completely on the cheap, which is a blessing because these economic times have not been kind to this girl's bank account.  The solution? I am giving everyone hugs. Practical and very eco-friendly.  I'm just a trailblazer that way.  I don't think I used that phrase properly.  But whatever, it's my blog.

So, let's see...what do I have to tell you.  First off, it needs to be said that today was stupid.  Like really stupid.  And that's all I have to say about that.  Wait, no, I have one more thing to say about that.  The upside to the downside is that I got in a fantastic cry that lasted a good portion of the day.  I can't tell you how exciting this was for me.  Seriously, you know how things just build and build and build and it's getting all intense, but thanks to the survival instinct thing you've got going on, you haven't exactly cried yet?  But then when you finally do, it's like oh sweet relief?  Yeah, that's the kind of cry I got today.  Totally cathartic (is that the right word?  I swear my brain thesaurus/dictionary is on the fritz.).  Acutally, I don't think I'm done yet either, so I'm hoping I have a few good crying days ahead of me.  Fingers crossed.

I seriously need to reboot the hard drive in my brain these days.  It's like a forgotten to-do item floats into my thought process at some random moment, and all synapses on duty start working on the Oh Yeah! memo to the rest of my brain.  And then immediately all of those synapses clock out for the day, and the Oh Yeah! memo is just left on the desk in the dark allowing the to-do item to float right on out.  So it never gets done and this just annoys me to no end. Wow, that was some analogy huh? (Why am I picturing my synapses as elves?  Santa's, not Keebler.  Hmmm.) Point being:  I still have not cooked pumpkin yummy goods for the pumpkin givers.  I know right?!  How does one FORGET to bake a magic pumpkin?  Especially when there's practically a keg of it in the freezer.  What is that about Brain? Huh? Can you please offer me some explanation as to your completely flaky state these days?  So, I'm deeply sorry, dear pumpkin friends, that you have yet to taste the satisfaction of healthy sugar-free pumpkin muffins (shut up, they are so awesome.). However, in an attempt maintain my living room picture frame status (seriously, I'm in the living room! In a frame!), I am going to throw the "My Dog Had Surgery" card.  That's right.  I went there.

**Quick sidenote:  Just so you know, Deedra & Bel, Pumpkin Givers Extraordinaire, are the wonderful pet parents to Cooper, Lola, and Codi that I told you about a while back?  Remember those kids?  Just trying to give you all the pieces to this puzzle. :)**

So next up on our agenda today:  Literary Christmas. Sigh.  (Hang tight.  This is where the banner pic gets explained.)  For the past 2 or 3 years, my Aunt Terri has hosted a Literary Christmas Party at her house.  The concept is for everyone in attendance to "perform" a song, reading, poem, game, whatever of a Christmas nature.  It is, in a word: awesome.  My family is HUGE by the way.  Like Catholic family in the 50's huge. My mom has 9 brothers and sisters.  Yeah.  It's fantastic. So this mass of people gets together (aunts, uncles, cousins, grannies...) contributing everything from 'Twas the Night Before Christmas to Christmas Jeopardy.

Up until last year, I had been strictly a spectator.  The night before last year's party, I was hanging out at my cousin, Val's, house.  Somehow the conversation turns to the party and that the two of us should do something. The conversation goes as follows:

Val: We could do a skit.

Me:  I love it.  Of what?

Val:  Beloved Christmas classics

Me:  Like A Christmas Story

Val:  Or It's a Wonderful Life

Me:  What if we did a dramatic re-enactment of It's a Wonderful Life...as told by sock puppets.

Literary. Christmas. Gold.

The next morning, we made a quick trip to Wal-Mart for a bag o' socks, and after some Sharpie magic, we had our Bailey family.  We gave the lady socks yellow yarn hair of course, and little Zu Zu even got red ribbons for her pigtails.  Even puppets must maintain their feminity.  There was a short outline of key scenes in the movie and maybe 1 or 2 dress rehearsals, and after a total of 15 minutes of work, we were stage ready.  And let me just say...we nailed it.  At one point, I was laughing so hard I couldn't even say my lines.  Val had to cover for me and play George Bailey AND Mary at the same time.  Luckily, she is quick on her feet (or hands), and would just shake my puppet hand while she talked so people would know which character was talking.  That is professionalism at it's finest.  It was so much fun, and everybody really liked it.

Here's the problem:  We set the bar too high. Literary Christmas is only a week and a half away, and I got nothing.  I mean, there was an encore request on Christmas Day!  How do we compete with that?  I know I shouldn't be too concerned really, considering last year's Tony winning show was cooked up in about 10 minutes the night before while watching Christopher Walken and drinking a couple of beers.  But the questions have been coming now since the party announcement:  "What are Val and Jenny gonna do?"  Is this how Meryl Streep feels?  I'm thinking yes. 

Stay tuned...

Week One Complete

Dude, has it seriously been a week already?  One week into this long road to recovery, and I have to say, so far so good.  There were definitely a couple REALLY bad days right up front, but that was all me and not a whole lot to do with Gracie girl here.  Lesson learned here:  Do not combine a week of craft show preparation with 3 days of Thanksgiving/travel with an all day craft show with major surgery on your one and only dog child during a week that is known to not be safe emotional-wise for us ladies and physical-wise for you fellas.  I think you follow.  Luckily, I was able to sleep in extra late one day which recharged my batteries a bit.

This dog is taking this whole thing like such a champ.  Dogs, man.  The resilience in these animals is amazing.  From the minute she got home, she has not whined a bit about having to be in the crate.  Trust me when I tell you this is a HUGE occurrence.  She'll huff and snort at me a bit, if she thinks she should be up on the bed with me, like maybe I forgot, but once I tell her to lay down, she settles in.  WHA???  Oh, and there was the HORRIBLE, nightmare-inducing night where she had to wear the Cone of Shame (10 points if you name the movie!) for the first time, and she literally laid there and quietly cried herself to sleep.  Like not even the whining dog kind of crying.  Just little whimpers to herself, and y'all, I am not lying when I tell you fat, little teardrops rolled down her cheeks.  I mean, seriously, universe?  Must you be this cruel? Heart. Breaking.

Since then, all is gravy.  Just today she has started to bite/chew on her leg from the itching more consistenly.  All week, when I tell her no, she'd quit.  Not so much today.  She'll latch on to that little naked leg and just gnaw the heck out of it, pretending she can't hear me of course.  Smart pup that she is figured out how to time it too, that if she ignores me, I'll get up to stop her.  And don't you know that little dog will bite bite bite on her itchy spot right until I put my hand out to stop her.  Then, of course, she's done.  Mmmm hmmm. What a coincidence.  You just happen to stop itching when I get to you.  I'm on to you little animal. So the bummer of it is that she now has to wear The Cone all day since she refuses to heed the wisdom of my years.  She doesn't fuss at all about it, but is having a little trouble figuring out how to walk and hear and all that with it on.  She clipped the walls in the hallway a few times, and tries to see over the top of it instead of turning her head left or right.  It's really cute/sweet/funny to watch.  She's a trooper, that one.

So, anyway, we're managing. We made it through week one, seven more to go.  The stitches come out this Saturday, so that should help with some of the itching.  All we can do is one day at a time right?

And just so you know what I see every night before I go to sleep:

I can't help but smile.

OH YES I DID

If I'm going down, you're all going down with me....

It's The Great Pumpkin!

Sigh.  Isn't it the most beautiful pumpkin you ever did see?

A couple of weeks ago, I went to visit a friend (Shelley) who was housesitting for another friend(Dee & Bel).  This completely perfect pumpkin was sitting next to Dee's front door when I arrived, and O.M.G. I am fairly certain I blacked out for a second due to it's sheer great pumpkin-ness. In case I've not mentioned it previously, I have an obsession with pumpkins.  I LOVE them.  I love to hug them and thump on them to hear their hollowness and then hug them again.  They make me plain ole happy.  And this one just topped them all. I had to touch it just to see if it was real.  It was all fat and shiny and the perfect pumpkiny color, and I fell head over heels.

Imagine my complete and utter joy when Shelley emailed me a few days later and said, "They're giving you the pumpkin."  This is how the term "Squee!!!" was coined, my friends.  Are they not the most wonderful people you have ever heard of in your life?!?!  These two beautiful friends of mine are willing to give up THE GREATEST PUMPKIN! in order to bring joy to my life.  (Also, I kind of promised that I would bake them something pumpkiny delicious with it, but I'm sure that has nothing to do with why they gave it to me.  I'm sure it's the whole joy thing.  Right girls?) (Oh and I think I should point out that it was recently been noted that I have reached picture frame status in their house. PICTURE FRAME, PEOPLE!  And not even hidden in the back guest bedroom.  Front and center in the living room!  If that doesn't just scream BFF, then I don't know what does. I'm just saying.)

After Shelley delivered The Great Pumpkin (!), it sat proudly and prominently in the place of honor next to the armchair in the living room.  This way it can be seen while eating dinner or while watching tv, which is the only way to properly respect the pumpkin.  After a couple of days of hugging on it, my mom says "You know, we could just buy another pumpkin and cook with that one and just let this one sit here and be pretty."  (I love my mom.)  We deliberated and decided that it was only fair to cook The Great Pumpkin (TGP), so that he may live out his full Harvest Destiny.  I mean, this is what he was born for right?  It was decided.  TGP would be carved on Tuesday. 

And honestly, that's pretty much the end of the story. I mean, I carved it, and it took me approximately 17 years, but you probably guessed that.  Once it was all cut up into pieces ready for steaming, it was enough pumpkin to fill four large mixing bowls. FOUR!  Took me almost a week to steam and strain it all.  Gosh, I'm getting all tired just remembering how long it took.  Sometimes you just have to suffer for baked goodies (which I totally haven't even done yet.  I know!  I'm sorry! But I promise to the lovely pumpkin givers, that it is still in the freezer and I will absolutely bake you some deliciousness this weekend and probably even get it to you too.)

So anyway, that's the story of The Great Pumpkin.  Aren't you glad you waited around for like a week for me to tell you that.  You will sleep SO good tonight now, I'm telling you.  Gosh, I love pumpkins.

OH WAIT!  I forgot to tell you!  When I started pulling seeds out, there were like 3 that had started growing INSIDE THE PUMPKIN!!!  The Great Pumpkin was preggo!  (This explains the adorable roundness and lovely pumpkin glow) But for real, the seeds were sprouting leaves and had roots all growing and attaching to pumpkin walls and everything.  HOW GROSS IS THAT?!  So gross and so completely awesome.  Wait, I think I took a pic....hang on....

(I apologize for the graphic pumpkin guts.)

Isn't that just crazy?  There were 3 of them like that, and my mom planted them all so we could possibly have Great Mini-Pumpkins in the future. (!!!!)  So, okay, yeah that was my pumpkin story.  You're welcome. :)

B is for Bah!...and also Buzzkill...

Disclaimer:  The following post could be a hazardous to your positive mood.  Rantings and grumpy feelings are forecast.  You've been warned.

Today is stupid.  The past week has been just one emotional crapfest, and honestly, I would like it all to stop please.  I would like to not have to concern myself with things of a financial nature, and I would like to undo all of the dumb spending mistakes I have made in the past, oh, I don't know, ten years or so.  Why the heck couldn't I have learned these lessons right out of the gate?  Because seriously, my first car came with the hefty note of $165.90 a month, and I spent ALOT of time thinking that was just going to break the bank.  Not even close. Fortunately, I had a good friend who said "pay $20 extra a month toward principal and you'll pay it off like a year sooner."  The car crapped out completely before it was ever paid off, but thankfully, that extra $20 a month I was sending lessened the blow of being in the red on a car that could not be fixed.  I wish I had known then that I had more money than I realized and probably could've been doubling my payments avoiding this whole upside down situation in the first place.  But whatever, I'm totally getting off topic.  The point of all that rambling is basically if I had known then what I'd know now, this whole layoff would probably be a heck of a lot less agonizing.  I'm fast approaching 30, and I'm nowhere close to where I hoped I would be from a stability standpoint.  That sucks.

Thanksgiving came and went with a lot more stress and anxiety than I had anticipated.  There were some truly awesome aspects of it, such as my brother being able to be there rounding out "the four of us" like it should be.  Or getting to spend time with my mom's sister's husband's mom (grandma-in-law?).  She is one bad@ss senior is all I'm saying.  And she brought some rocking good dip.  That pretty much makes you a winner in my book.  But for some reason, with all the things to be thankful for and all the wonderful company, I was completely unsettled. Even Gracie spent every chance she got racing for the front door. My anxiety goes through the roof when I'm at that house, and I can't entirely pinpoint why.   I suspect it has to do with the whole Katrina thing, and this is the house we evacuated to and maybe all that comes out.  I don't know. 

And now I'm pup nurse to my sweet lil Gracie girl.  She had the knee surgery on Monday, and all went really well.  She came home yesterday afternoon and has been cooped up in her cozy kennel since then.  She gets bathroom breaks, and I occasionally let her out to lay next to me on the floor in my room.  There was a major cone of shame issue last night when she started spending a lot of time going after those stitches.  So at about 8:30 last night after I was showered and in my jammies, I had to go out and find a cone to keep her from messing up the incision.  I wanted a specific comfy cone so she would be able to sleep on it.  Petco fail.  Petsmart fail.  So I settled for the little inflatable donut thing.  Have you seen those?  They're pretty cool.  Anyway, got it home...too small.  GAH!  It was too late at that point to go find another one so I took my chances that she would sleep and not chew overnight.  She chewed.  So now she has this huge hematoma type thing on her knee which vet says is not normal.  So I have to take her back in to see him in the morning.  Finally found the comfy cone I was looking for today, but when I got it home, it was too big and she pulled it right off. GRRR!!!  I managed to make the inflatable one work and she looked fairly comfy in it, but she can get around it to her stitches.  Oh geez, is this some joke?!  So again, last minute trek out right before closing time to find a comfy cone size small.  I think it fits okay, but I keep watching her making sure she's breathing and that it's not too tight. But that poor pup is MISERABLE. 

I just need everything to stop.  For just a bit.  Until I can recharge.  I need to not think about money and how I'm going to support myself.  I need to not worry about getting a job.  I need my dog to be happy and healthy and not have to suffer like this.  I need to feel settled and in place and not have this weight of uncertainty on me every. single. second.  I need sleep. 

Chick's Best Friend...

So I know that you are all on the edge of your seats, waiting to hear my story of The Great Pumpkin.  It's really not that exciting of a story so you can pretty much relax about it.  But, it is a pretty amazing pumpkin so if the pictures of it will thrill you like they thrill me, then you can scootch back to the front of you seat.  The past week has been a blur of pumpkin pies and Christmas crafts with a small appearance by some Black Friday shopping.  Wow, now that I'm actually writing it, I might actually have a lot to tell you once I finally get to telling you about it.  But I can't tell you now.  My mind is preoccupied.

You guys, my lil Gracie girl had knee surgery today. *insert tragic heartbroken sad face here*  She has had luxating patellas (moving kneecaps) since she was a puppy, and 3 different docs have recommended surgery to correct it.  Well, as most of you know, pet care sure don't come cheap, so I've had to put it off over and over.  It got so bad that the poor pup could hardly run after her ball.  And trust this...that girl LOOOOVES her some ball. 

While at the dog park (which she hates. what is that about?) one day, I noticed that her leg almost looked like it was dangling, and she refused to run on it.  Okay.  That was enough.  We worked out the funding deal with the vet, and surgery was scheduled for this morning.

I dropped her off about 8:00 and thank God! my favorite vet tech was there.  She's very calm, and very good at being pet parent understanding.  She never rushes me and makes a big stink over Gracie which is what I need please.  After all, she is the cutest, sweetest dog ever.  Ever. (do not argue. you will lose.)  And Gracie has learned the art of the drama (where she got it, I'll never know) and usually FREAKS out when I leave her somewhere.  I mean FUH-REAKS out.  While travelling for T-giving, my dad held her leash so I could run in to the Ladies, and the dog lost her mind.  Bark bark bark cry cry cry shake shake cry shake bark.  Sheesh. (sidenote: it makes me feel REALLY good about myself to be adored that much by this little animal. Seriously. Self-esteem issues? Raise a puppy.) 

Anyway, today she did pretty good when Vet Tech took her.  I thought I was going to get out of there without having my heart ripped out of my chest, and as I was almost out the door, I realized I forgot to ask a question.  I turned to ask Vet Tech, and my sweet, little pup let out the longest, most pitiful whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine I have ever heard out of her.  I almost didn't realize it was her because she didn't move a muscle.  Just stared at me and whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.  Um, ok, great, so I'll just leave my heart right here on the counter, and you just call me when I can come pick it up.  Great, thanks.  Sigh.

I talked to the office this afternoon, and Unfavorite But Still Nice Vet Tech said surgery went well, and Gracie was already up and whining.  Thank you God!  She has to spend the night there though, which I was totally okay with, up until about 8 pm-ish.  Uh, no.  No no no.  I need her here.  She cannot be sleeping in some strange place with her leg all bandaged and no ball and no me to rub her tummy and kiss her little head.  But I know it must be done, and so all I can do at this point, is continue praying for her comfort and health and heavy medication to knock her the heck out.  Actually, I think I need to pray the same thing for myself.

Get better quick little baby!