Bits and Pieces...

Well, my immune system finally folded and the germs won the pot.  But thankfully, after careful review and extensive google research, it is not The Plague as I initially suspected, but instead just the Common Cold.  Although do you get a fever with a cold?  Because I have one.  I am rocking the temp at 101 like it's going out of style.  Fussy, sweaty, fevery 101 in the house!  Holla!  Also, I might be delirious.  You've been warned.

So this is pretty much going to be a pointless post, and I'm really only doing it because I know I have not put as much into our blogging relationship as I have taken out.  Which is just plain selfish.  I have been feeling completely unfunny lately, so I decided this will be a post of tying up loose ends.  Specifically about things that I know you've been wondering about, so we'll wrap it all up here now, so that you will finally be able to get some sleep.  Or I don't know, maybe I'll just post a bunch of pictures and ramble endlessly and pointlessly as I'm doing now.  It's working well yes?

ANYWAY, remember that I was going to bake pumpkin goodies for the wonderful pumpkin givers?  Well, I finally did it!  And from what I was told, it all turned out pretty darn good. :) 

Get a load of this empanda action:

And muffins.  YUMMO!

I made dog treats too for the dawgs, but no pics because they just didn't look quite yummy enough.  But Gracie girl sure loved them.  So there's that.

Also, Literary Christmas.  Remember me telling you about the sock puppets?  We pulled off another winning performance from what I can tell of the reviews.  The day of the party, Cousin Val and I met upor emergency poetry writing.  We decided on a rewrite of the classic 'Twas the Night Before Christmas starting with the line 'Twas the Morning of Literary Christmas.  Oh my gosh, we had to much fun.  There was lots of high fiving and table dancing and bacon eating, and then the creativity just started flowing.  After two hours at a table in IHOP, it was all finished up.  Apparently the secret is to cram in it at the last second. Haha.  Which is pretty much what the whole poem was about anyway. With a rap breakdown included of course.  I believe there is video of it somewhere so I'll try to get my hands on it for you.  Until then, here's a pic:

I hope you all got some closure here so we can move on.  Yes?  Okay, good.  I'm off to watch Lifetime with my fever. 

Odds and ends...

'Sup dudes? I hope everybody is doing well.  Have you gotten all your Christmas shopping done?  I have.  Yep.  I was able to get everyone I know something completely on the cheap, which is a blessing because these economic times have not been kind to this girl's bank account.  The solution? I am giving everyone hugs. Practical and very eco-friendly.  I'm just a trailblazer that way.  I don't think I used that phrase properly.  But whatever, it's my blog.

So, let's see...what do I have to tell you.  First off, it needs to be said that today was stupid.  Like really stupid.  And that's all I have to say about that.  Wait, no, I have one more thing to say about that.  The upside to the downside is that I got in a fantastic cry that lasted a good portion of the day.  I can't tell you how exciting this was for me.  Seriously, you know how things just build and build and build and it's getting all intense, but thanks to the survival instinct thing you've got going on, you haven't exactly cried yet?  But then when you finally do, it's like oh sweet relief?  Yeah, that's the kind of cry I got today.  Totally cathartic (is that the right word?  I swear my brain thesaurus/dictionary is on the fritz.).  Acutally, I don't think I'm done yet either, so I'm hoping I have a few good crying days ahead of me.  Fingers crossed.

I seriously need to reboot the hard drive in my brain these days.  It's like a forgotten to-do item floats into my thought process at some random moment, and all synapses on duty start working on the Oh Yeah! memo to the rest of my brain.  And then immediately all of those synapses clock out for the day, and the Oh Yeah! memo is just left on the desk in the dark allowing the to-do item to float right on out.  So it never gets done and this just annoys me to no end. Wow, that was some analogy huh? (Why am I picturing my synapses as elves?  Santa's, not Keebler.  Hmmm.) Point being:  I still have not cooked pumpkin yummy goods for the pumpkin givers.  I know right?!  How does one FORGET to bake a magic pumpkin?  Especially when there's practically a keg of it in the freezer.  What is that about Brain? Huh? Can you please offer me some explanation as to your completely flaky state these days?  So, I'm deeply sorry, dear pumpkin friends, that you have yet to taste the satisfaction of healthy sugar-free pumpkin muffins (shut up, they are so awesome.). However, in an attempt maintain my living room picture frame status (seriously, I'm in the living room! In a frame!), I am going to throw the "My Dog Had Surgery" card.  That's right.  I went there.

**Quick sidenote:  Just so you know, Deedra & Bel, Pumpkin Givers Extraordinaire, are the wonderful pet parents to Cooper, Lola, and Codi that I told you about a while back?  Remember those kids?  Just trying to give you all the pieces to this puzzle. :)**

So next up on our agenda today:  Literary Christmas. Sigh.  (Hang tight.  This is where the banner pic gets explained.)  For the past 2 or 3 years, my Aunt Terri has hosted a Literary Christmas Party at her house.  The concept is for everyone in attendance to "perform" a song, reading, poem, game, whatever of a Christmas nature.  It is, in a word: awesome.  My family is HUGE by the way.  Like Catholic family in the 50's huge. My mom has 9 brothers and sisters.  Yeah.  It's fantastic. So this mass of people gets together (aunts, uncles, cousins, grannies...) contributing everything from 'Twas the Night Before Christmas to Christmas Jeopardy.

Up until last year, I had been strictly a spectator.  The night before last year's party, I was hanging out at my cousin, Val's, house.  Somehow the conversation turns to the party and that the two of us should do something. The conversation goes as follows:

Val: We could do a skit.

Me:  I love it.  Of what?

Val:  Beloved Christmas classics

Me:  Like A Christmas Story

Val:  Or It's a Wonderful Life

Me:  What if we did a dramatic re-enactment of It's a Wonderful Life...as told by sock puppets.

Literary. Christmas. Gold.

The next morning, we made a quick trip to Wal-Mart for a bag o' socks, and after some Sharpie magic, we had our Bailey family.  We gave the lady socks yellow yarn hair of course, and little Zu Zu even got red ribbons for her pigtails.  Even puppets must maintain their feminity.  There was a short outline of key scenes in the movie and maybe 1 or 2 dress rehearsals, and after a total of 15 minutes of work, we were stage ready.  And let me just say...we nailed it.  At one point, I was laughing so hard I couldn't even say my lines.  Val had to cover for me and play George Bailey AND Mary at the same time.  Luckily, she is quick on her feet (or hands), and would just shake my puppet hand while she talked so people would know which character was talking.  That is professionalism at it's finest.  It was so much fun, and everybody really liked it.

Here's the problem:  We set the bar too high. Literary Christmas is only a week and a half away, and I got nothing.  I mean, there was an encore request on Christmas Day!  How do we compete with that?  I know I shouldn't be too concerned really, considering last year's Tony winning show was cooked up in about 10 minutes the night before while watching Christopher Walken and drinking a couple of beers.  But the questions have been coming now since the party announcement:  "What are Val and Jenny gonna do?"  Is this how Meryl Streep feels?  I'm thinking yes. 

Stay tuned...

It's The Great Pumpkin!

Sigh.  Isn't it the most beautiful pumpkin you ever did see?

A couple of weeks ago, I went to visit a friend (Shelley) who was housesitting for another friend(Dee & Bel).  This completely perfect pumpkin was sitting next to Dee's front door when I arrived, and O.M.G. I am fairly certain I blacked out for a second due to it's sheer great pumpkin-ness. In case I've not mentioned it previously, I have an obsession with pumpkins.  I LOVE them.  I love to hug them and thump on them to hear their hollowness and then hug them again.  They make me plain ole happy.  And this one just topped them all. I had to touch it just to see if it was real.  It was all fat and shiny and the perfect pumpkiny color, and I fell head over heels.

Imagine my complete and utter joy when Shelley emailed me a few days later and said, "They're giving you the pumpkin."  This is how the term "Squee!!!" was coined, my friends.  Are they not the most wonderful people you have ever heard of in your life?!?!  These two beautiful friends of mine are willing to give up THE GREATEST PUMPKIN! in order to bring joy to my life.  (Also, I kind of promised that I would bake them something pumpkiny delicious with it, but I'm sure that has nothing to do with why they gave it to me.  I'm sure it's the whole joy thing.  Right girls?) (Oh and I think I should point out that it was recently been noted that I have reached picture frame status in their house. PICTURE FRAME, PEOPLE!  And not even hidden in the back guest bedroom.  Front and center in the living room!  If that doesn't just scream BFF, then I don't know what does. I'm just saying.)

After Shelley delivered The Great Pumpkin (!), it sat proudly and prominently in the place of honor next to the armchair in the living room.  This way it can be seen while eating dinner or while watching tv, which is the only way to properly respect the pumpkin.  After a couple of days of hugging on it, my mom says "You know, we could just buy another pumpkin and cook with that one and just let this one sit here and be pretty."  (I love my mom.)  We deliberated and decided that it was only fair to cook The Great Pumpkin (TGP), so that he may live out his full Harvest Destiny.  I mean, this is what he was born for right?  It was decided.  TGP would be carved on Tuesday. 

And honestly, that's pretty much the end of the story. I mean, I carved it, and it took me approximately 17 years, but you probably guessed that.  Once it was all cut up into pieces ready for steaming, it was enough pumpkin to fill four large mixing bowls. FOUR!  Took me almost a week to steam and strain it all.  Gosh, I'm getting all tired just remembering how long it took.  Sometimes you just have to suffer for baked goodies (which I totally haven't even done yet.  I know!  I'm sorry! But I promise to the lovely pumpkin givers, that it is still in the freezer and I will absolutely bake you some deliciousness this weekend and probably even get it to you too.)

So anyway, that's the story of The Great Pumpkin.  Aren't you glad you waited around for like a week for me to tell you that.  You will sleep SO good tonight now, I'm telling you.  Gosh, I love pumpkins.

OH WAIT!  I forgot to tell you!  When I started pulling seeds out, there were like 3 that had started growing INSIDE THE PUMPKIN!!!  The Great Pumpkin was preggo!  (This explains the adorable roundness and lovely pumpkin glow) But for real, the seeds were sprouting leaves and had roots all growing and attaching to pumpkin walls and everything.  HOW GROSS IS THAT?!  So gross and so completely awesome.  Wait, I think I took a pic....hang on....

(I apologize for the graphic pumpkin guts.)

Isn't that just crazy?  There were 3 of them like that, and my mom planted them all so we could possibly have Great Mini-Pumpkins in the future. (!!!!)  So, okay, yeah that was my pumpkin story.  You're welcome. :)

The Great Pumpkin - Teaser